How to Easily Improve Your Small Talk Skills In English
Small talk is incredibly important if you want to make friends and talk to new people. It is so much more than killing a few minutes while you are waiting for the bus by talking about how rubbish the weather is... again!
Small talk is the key to connecting with people you meet on a deeper level. This lets you build stronger relationships and helps you to build your social circle so you feel less isolated, especially if you are living in a new country.
There is just one big question for most non-native English speakers when it comes to small talk.
Why Is Small Talk So Difficult?
If you find small talk in English very difficult, you are not the only one. There are loads of things that make it really challenging.
Lots of people find it proper hard to keep the conversation flowing. It is very easy to run out of things to say which leads to awkward silences. Sometimes this is caused by a limited range of vocabulary or being unable to organise your thoughts quickly in English. It could also be because of the pressure of trying to communicate in your second language.
It could also be hard because you haven't had enough exposure to causal British English. Brits love to use weird slang words and expressions all the time and if you haven't heard them before, you are probably going to be pretty confused.
Most people are also pretty scared of making a mistake or saying something stupid when talking to new people. You might also be worried about what the other person thinks of you based on your English level. This is a cocktail of anxiety and overwhelm that will destroy your confidence.
Don't worry too much though... I am here to help you out!
How Can I Improve My Small Talk Skills In English?
Improving your small talk skills might not be as hard as you think. I have helped loads of people improve their small talk skills through my SMALL TALK SUCCESS workshop and in this post, I want to share 5 really practical tips that you can start using today to immediately improve your communication skills. This will reduce your anxiety and help you to connect with the new people you meet!
Tip 1: Ask More Open-Ended Questions
In English, there are basically 2 kinds of questions, open-ended questions and closed questions. If you want to get better at small talk, you need to start using way more open-ended questions.
Closed questions are not terrible, but open-ended questions will give the other person to go deeper on a topic which means you will have a better conversation.
Instead of asking "Do you like football?" you should try asking "What kind of sports are you into?"
Tip 2: Practice Active Listening
Correct me if I am wrong, but most English learners focus more on understanding the words than on showing interest in the conversation. This is not a listening test mate! We are trying to make some new friends here!
Things like maintaining eye contact, nodding, and using verbal affirmations will show the other person you are enjoying talking to them and want to keep the conversation flowing.
Spend more time actually showing interest in what the other person is saying and you will be surprised how much better your conversations will be.
Take the Small Talk Success Workshop
Small Talk Success is a 60+ minute training workshop that will help you master small talk in English. Full of tips, strategies, and advice that will turn you from the shy person in the corner to being involved in conversations with people you meet. Click here to find out more.
Tip 3: Stick To Common Topics At First
There are a few topics that come up over and over again when it comes to small talk. Things like hobbies, travel, and work... but why is this?
It's because it works. Most people you meet will enjoy talking about these kind of topics and it gives them a chance to tell you about their favourite person... themselves!
If you struggle to talk to people when you meet them, prepare a few questions and answers around the most common small talk topics and practice them. This should help you feel more calm and confident the next time you get chatting to a native speaker.
Tip 4: It's not an interrogation!
One of the biggest problems I see from people I work with is that they treat small talk like they are some kind of detective trying to get evidence from a criminal. They just ask question, after question, after question. This is no good.
You also need to share some of your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. How can you expect to get to know new people if you never share anything about yourself? Try to find a nice balance between asking questions and sharing your own ideas.
Just like I taught people in the Small Talk Success workshop, a good conversation is a two way street so make sure you are doing your share of the work!
Tip 5: Pay Attention To Body Language
The words you say are only half of the message that you deliver. How you say it can be almost as important as what you say in English. This is why you need to pay attention to your body language.
I know it can be hard to think about this stuff while you are trying to think about everything else that is happening, but this can make such a big difference to the overall atmosphere of the conversation, you should really try and improve this!
Even just really basic things like smiling, eye contact, and keeping an open posture will have a big effect on how the other person reacts to you.
Want To Improve Even Faster?
These 5 tips will help you have better small talk conversations, but there are lots of other things that you need to be aware of if you want to improve your small talk skills. I made a free downloadable guide that shows the 8 biggest small talk mistakes English learners make and how to avoid them. If you really want to connect with new people in English, download it today.
